How to transform FOMO into JOMO, according to experts: ‘Be more selective’
For 2024, FOMO is out — and JOMO is in.
It’s time to let go of the “fear of missing out,” and embrace the “joys of missing out.”
Many people are all too familiar with the feeling of FOMO, worrying that all your friends are having fun without you — at dinner, a night out together or with tickets to the hottest concert in town.
The idea of FOMO has existed since long before social media, but now we’re able to witness highlights of people’s lives in the palms of our hands, often in real-time, which can lead to the immediate feeling of being left out and lonely.
“We’re exposed to more people that we don’t know, we don’t really know their stories,” Tali Gazit, an associate professor of information science at Israel’s Bar-Ilan University, told The Washington Post. “We are not familiar with the complexity of their lives, and everything looks so great in others’ life experiences.”
But missing out doesn’t have to trigger negative emotions — it can be something to be happy about. Reframing the idea of FOMO into feelings of JOMO allows you to be selective about what you actually want to do without worrying about everyone else.
“JOMO reminds us that we can not only not fear that we are missing something important, but actually enjoy missing something,” Gazit said.
However, JOMO isn’t about sitting at home with no social life. The phenomenon allows people to choose when to step back without the distraction of wondering if everyone’s having fun without you.
“JOMO is actually being able to be in the here and now,” Gazit added. “To be able to enjoy what you are doing now without looking left and right and be jealous or anxious about missing something.”
Aside from the implied delight, JOMO has its mental benefits, too, such as increasing productivity and focus, increasing engagement in relationships, and improving emotional and physical well-being, according to Cleveland Clinic.
Despite its flaws, social media allows people to connect, which is good for our mental health.
Embracing missing out isn’t about cutting out the connections or self-isolating, Chris Barry, a psychology professor at Washington State University, told WaPo. Rather, it’s about disconnecting intentionally and giving yourself time to recharge.
So, how can you add JOMO into your life? Here are some examples:
Make plans to disconnect
Being intentional about JOMO might be the key, WaPo suggests.
Gazit found in her research that those who purposefully chose to disconnect from social media had higher psychological well-being compared to those who didn’t decide to on their own.
Giving yourself time to disconnect regularly will make a difference when its your choice.
Say no and set boundaries
It’s also important to set boundaries in all aspects of life, such as partaking in an event or activity.
“Try to be more selective about how you direct your time,” Psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD, explained to Cleveland Clinic.
“It’s OK to say no,” Albers emphasized. “You may need to get comfortable with saying this. And it’s also about not being apologetic for saying no. You don’t have to defend your decision or give an explanation.”
Use coping mechanisms
Some behavioral strategies can help reduce social media usage simply because the temptation isn’t at the forefront.
Using features such as do not disturb or a focus status, muting people, turning off notifications, setting time limits for certain apps or turning off your devices at night can all be beneficial when it comes to lowering time spent looking at other peoples’ highlight reels.
Be mindful with social media
As previously stated, JOMO isn’t about cutting out social media in its entirety. Instead, be more mindful with your usage and “think through what emotions you’re experiencing as you’re seeing different content and considering what’s beneficial or not,” Barry said.
Albers explained, “Limiting social media can reduce the comparison you may place on yourself versus others.”
“When you take a break from it, you will notice that your FOMO decreases quite a bit and that it gives you the opportunity to focus more on your goals, your passions — the things that increase your own sense of fulfillment.”
Be aware when you’re preoccupied with others
“Most of the time we’re just so occupied with others’ lives,” Gazit told the paper, adding that everyone should put some time aside to “be occupied with your own life.”
Remind yourself you’re not alone
Everyone misses out sometimes, and nearly everyone has experienced FOMO.
Try to enjoy what you are doing rather than what you’re not doing, whether it be reading a book, hanging with family or just having some alone time.
